Kumar


I’m midwestern. Started in Ohio, moved to Indiana and now live in Chicago. Slowly moving northwest, however unintentionally. Its hard to write about myself (he says while writing the “About Me” section on his blog) because I want to explain myself in a way that you know wholly who I am not just a few lines on a lit up screen. Alas, you will have to make due with the lines on a lit up screen.

Now a little about me, myself and what writing does for me.

I grew up a stubborn child and have become a slightly less stubborn adult. My sister spent a fair amount of energy trying to get me to unpack and talk about my feelings while growing up and I ignored and refused those requests not because they didn’t seem like good ideas but simply because I didn’t want to be told what was good for me or what I should do. Now, quite a few years later, I still react quite negatively to being told what to do or that something is good for me but am less stubborn and have taken her advice and am using this blog to, among other things, write about myself. I’m very in touch with my narcissism if you haven’t already noticed.

Writing and speaking serve a couple of important purposes for me. They both help me externalize or confront otherwise internal issues. It is easy for me to think about my feelings keep them locked away and not deal with them. When I write them and then have to read them I have to acknowledge that it is something I feel. The same goes for talking. Hearing me say my father died or that I lost my father helps me remember that it is true and real. It helps me continue to grieve and to grieve outwardly in a way that I am almost forced to look for progress or else I say the same things over and over again.

I think writing, as opposed to speaking, helps me look at how my feelings and emotions have been over time. It is helpful for me to know if I feel the exact same feelings each year on my birthday or the date of my father’s passing or if my feelings change. It is good to be able to look back and see how I felt at other points in my life.  Logging these stories, emotions and musings gives me a tangible record, partial albeit, of my emotional history which I like to believe makes it easier for me to not always start from square one when processing emotions but to pick up where I left off a few months back and deal with things in a more proactive manner. Of course this is all me just psychoanalyzing myself but I think it is truly helpful in a more than superficial way.

I should probably also note that although a lot of my writing is about myself it isn’t all. I try to note when something is fiction or not but do not always think it is a necessary distinction to be made. I will also say that when I write I try not to speak for other people I try to write about my own perspective on the world. My work is shamelessly biased on my worldview. I don’t believe objective writing exists nor an objective perspective. I actually think that power can be found in reading a perspective that resonates with you and one that you share biases with. Of course it is always good to acknowledge your biases and look for ways to be pushed out of them frequently but biases in of themselves can be useful tools when writing or trying to connect with others. Look at me trying to get all meta on you, sorry I know I’m out of my league but this type of rambling comes with the territory so get used to it.

As you can see I am at least good at putting words on a page, if nothing else. The last thing I will add is that I really enjoy connecting with other writers, readers, listeners and commenters. Yes, I am a stat junkie so I love the stats, but in all honesty if you have a thought please share it.

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2 thoughts on “Kumar

    • Hey,

      Thanks a lot. I really do appreciate the thought, compliment and of course that you keep reading. I must admit, I am not so big on awards, but thank you I certainly feel touched by your nomination and will do my best to fulfill its guidelines.

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