I have tried to write this page many times and never feel like I do a great job of it so I am going to cheat and write a very short page that doesn’t do justice to my earlier attempts but is certainly better than leaving it in the “draft” section of my pages for years.
I am adopted, it is true. Or I was adopted. I’m never quite sure which one is appropriate, or if either is appropriate. From the records I have it is said I was born in India, the exact location seems to be in question but there is a wonderful document called an “Affidavit of Abandonment in Lieu of Birth Certificate” (has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?) issued by the an Indian court back in the early 90s which says my birth place was Pudukottai, Tamil Nadu, India. What seems to be more likely than any court in India actually knowing my birth place is that when I was taken to the orphanage where I lived for some time in Trichy (Tiruchirappalli) they fabricated information so they could issue me formal paperwork and I could be adopted. Hooray for made up shit.
I am not aware of any reliable information related to my time before I reached the orphanage in Trichy, which if you too were raised in an orphanage in India and are wondering if it is the same one, it is run by an organization called the Children’s Home of the Congregation of the Sisters of the Cross of Chavanod (SOC SEAD). It is a Catholic establishment which over the years has grown and when I returned for a little visit in 2004 they had expanded their programming from the orphanage to schools, women’s cooperatives and programs for boys with no families living on the streets.
Anywho, after being adopted by my family, yes I call the family that adopted me my family, I spent my childhood growing up in rural southwestern Ohio. After some years of being an adult I decided to delve into this whole being adopted situation and thus this blog was born. I have used this blog for lots of things but really its just a place I write shit that I want to be public. Now that I am a budding yuppie I have the emotional energy to what is affectionately called in the adoption world The Search.
I’ll be blunt and say this terrifies the shit out of me, the thought of not finding anyone or even worse finding someone and being rejected is almost too overwhelming to contemplate. This is what has held me back for so many years, the fear of rejection more than the fear or not finding anyone. But that fear of dying and never knowing is much stronger coupled with the heartbreaking thought that there could be a mother or father out there wondering whatever happened to their baby Kumar.
I don’t really feel emotionally ready to take this on but I do feel like I have the emotional energy available right now and so here we go. I plan on using the posts section of this blog to keep track of my progress and steps I decide to take as I move forward with The Search.