I wonder…

I wonder if my parents ever think of me. I wonder if they love each other. I wonder if they ever loved each other. I wonder if my dad has patchy facial hair. I wonder if my mom's eyelashes are dark and beautiful. I wonder if they are my parents. I wonder if they walk … Continue reading I wonder…


Dear Anna Belle Illien

This is a letter to Anna Belle Illien who was one of the people, or at least her agency, Illien Adoption International Inc., responsible for my adoption about a quarter of a century ago. I have never reached out to Illien the person or the agency but it is one of the connections that I … Continue reading Dear Anna Belle Illien

“What White Parents Should Know About Adopting Black Children”

"There's no manual for raising children. Black children are no different, but black parents raising black children have been black children. White parents of black children have been white children. The disadvantage is nearly insurmountable. The victory is never flawless. And the preparation is never enough." - La Sha What White Parents Should Know About … Continue reading “What White Parents Should Know About Adopting Black Children”

What I Know or The “Facts”

It turns out I have kind of a lot of information about the process surrounding my adoption. There are lots of pieces of papers, many from the Indian Government or court system and many from the two adoption agencies that my parents utilized in their quest to find the perfect child, me! They utilized Illien Adoption … Continue reading What I Know or The “Facts”

Birthdays Are Complex Monsters

For many, birthdays are a time to rejoice, celebrate and of course tell birth stories! For me birthdays are not imbued with the same sense of gleeful nostalgia. They are subtle reminders of an uncertain past and an unknown beginning. The first birthday is not simply a date. It is an experience that, although no … Continue reading Birthdays Are Complex Monsters

Do Trans-racial Adoptees Know Anything About Trans-racial Adoption?

Great piece. I strongly encourage taking a few minutes to read the piece and follow The Adopted Life blog.

Angela Tucker

NPR contacted me and asked me to be a part of the Sunday Conversation that aired yesterday morning. I spoke in depth about my story, my upbringing, the challenges and joys of my experience being raised by White parents, only to receive an email the next day stating that they had chosen to go another route. I responded kindly by stating “I sure hope you’ve chosen to include an adoptees perspective for your segment.” I awoke to hear the one-sided, tired, age old perspective that we’ve heard so many times before. A loving, White adoptive parent of three African American children was the only voice to hear. While her voice is valid and valuable, it should not have been the only voice featured on…

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Adoptive Couple v. Baby Girl – Veronica

There are no typical adoptions. No normal circumstances in which they occur. They occur for millions of different reasons.  That being said it would seem with all the different stories floating around it would be hard to be surprised by some of them. I listen to Radiolab occasionally. Today while I was laying on the … Continue reading Adoptive Couple v. Baby Girl – Veronica

10 Things Adoptees Want You to Know

This is a piece written by Lesli Johnson. It was published by the huffington post last week. She does a great job of writing about the adoption experience generally speaking, which is incredibly difficult to do without being offensive. Her article is by no means perfect but it is by far the best of its … Continue reading 10 Things Adoptees Want You to Know

Terry Achane

This is quite frustrating and complex in multiple levels. The two most apparent are 1) that Utah law would allow for something like this to happen AND once they realized what had happened not immediately "righting" their wrong and 2) that this family continues to pursue a child that should never have come into their … Continue reading Terry Achane

Internalizations Gone Wild

I grew up assuming that I was adopted because my biological relatives could not take care of me. Implicit within that assumption was that they did not want to take care of me. I never found it to be very harsh. I just assumed that they were unable to care for me and so they … Continue reading Internalizations Gone Wild